Queer Eye for the Hanyou Guy
by Zelda And Cheebs
Summary: Redone and now collaborated. InuYasha is today's straight guy being made over by Thom, Carson, Kyan, Ted, and Jai. We the writers hope that you enjoy this newly renovated piece of fanfiction


**Queer Eye for the Hanyou Guy **

**Big huge Author's note: Hi, for all of those who don't know or remember this Queer Eye for the Hanyou Guy fanfic was originally written and started on the 13th of September 2003. However between things such as adult ADD and moving and pregnancy this story has been put out to pasture on the 24th of February 2004. The reason was I didn't like the set up, which closely resembled a script. It was tedious. So instead this will be written out like a regular story. Besides, this was one of the first fanfics I did. And now with help, this story can only get better. **

**Summary: If you've ever seen the show you know what's going on, if not here's the deal. InuYasha's loving girlfriend Kagome has had it up to her eyeballs with the way InuYasha acts, dresses, keeps his apartment and eats so she calls on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy-yeah I know they don't work in Japan deal with me. Trust me if you liked the first one I swear you'll love this new version.**

**Setting: Kagome and InuYasha are in modern day Tokyo. They're college age now and well, you got the rest from the summary.**

**Disclaimer** **I figured since you guys already went through the note and the summary you deserve to not get a disclaimer.**

**Chapter One: Let's meet today's Straight guy**

InuYasha plopped himself down on one of the couches in the Higurashi's family room and snatched up the remote from Buyo who was about to use it as his new chew toy. Quickly turning on the moving picture box that Kagome told him time and again was a television InuYasha changed to the Bravo channel only to find a repeat of his favorite American TV show **Sponge Bob Square Pants** Disappointed but still wanting to watch the program InuYasha settled in with a bag of Pirate's Booty and quickly became oblivious to everyone and everything else.

Just as a Mountain Dew commercial with two guys hitting each other appeared the doorbell rang. InuYasha, who was absorbed in his TV viewing pleasure didn't bother to get up. However Kagome had been doing her homework, _math _homework, veryboring stuff. It's boring enough to not get absorbed in so she heard the doorbell ring and grateful for a distraction rushed out of her room and down the stairs. Flinging open the door she found the Fab Five of **Queer Eye for the Straight Guy** standing outside on her porch. Okay, so they were doing more than standing, Carson was gaping at Kagome's ripped jeans and Happy Bunny t-shirt that read: **Hate is a special kind of love that we give to people who suck** while Kyan nodded his approval at her hair. Thom was admiring the wicker furniture that Kagome's mom had just placed outside this morning and Ted was eating a rice ball. Jai was the only one who was doing regular standing, he stuck out his hand for Kagome to shake "Hi, I'm Jai, and we're here to help clean up your boyfriend."

"Oh my _GOD_ you're here!" Kagome cried happily. "You're **_FINALLY_** here! Thank the Gods! Oh man did it take a while!" Kagome run around her porch and hugged each of the fab five tightly while repeating her cries of happiness.

Kagome's loud voice broke InuYasha out of his television-induced stupor and he eased himself of the couch and strolled outside to see what all the commotion was. Kagome's mom, Sota and jii-chan soon joined him. They were all shocked to see Kagome enthusiastically hugging five foreign guys who were now staring openly at InuYasha.

"Oh my God, that hair, those nails…. That frightful looking outfit?" Carson was struck nearly speechless at InuYasha's habitual haori and his long silver hair.

"Oh what are you talking about Carson? I like his hair." Kyan objected and reached for a strand of it. "Of course it could use some moisturizing leave in treatment.

The other three men also came over to InuYasha and began to poke at him and ask questions. It was not something they usually did with the straight men they usually encountered, but then again none of the other men back in the states had been a half demon dog with cute fuzzy ears that Jai was now touching. "We can't get rid of these," the culture guy announced, "they're really cute."

"They're also _attached_ to my head." InuYasha growled. Then looking at Kagome the hanyou whined, "Who _are _these people and _what _are they doing to me?"

"We're from **Queer Eye For The Straight Guy**" Carson explained. "Your girlfriend, Kagome, wrote us a letter begging for our help. She says that your apartment is so unbearable that even _you_ don't want to live there. Your eating habits are atrocious and well…."

"Sango and Miroku agree with me!" Kagome exclaimed.

"You lie." InuYasha retorted.

"Does she?" Asked Kyan holding up a portable DVD player "Role that beautiful friend interview footage."

A picture came up on the screen and showed Sango taking her place on a couch.

"What do you think about your friend InuYasha?" a man's voice asked politely.

"Oh he's a nice guy." Sango began InuYasha beamed hoping that Sango's interview may save him from the men who reminded him of Jakkotsu. "But his manners are deplorable. All he eats is ramen. His people skills still have much to be desired, do you know that he got fired from _McDonald's?_ And he has horrible hygiene."

"Thank you." Replied the man's voice. Sango left and up came Miroku. The perverted excuse for a holy man was asked the same question.

"Did Sango already tell you about McDonald's?"

"Yes."

"He has empty ramen cups under his bed and boxes of ramen in the pantry. There is food in our refrigerator that can be carbon dated. I believe I may have found a good bye note from the roaches and I think he uses lava soap on his _hair._"

"Oh my."

"Do you need to know anything else?"

"Nope, just send in Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru comes in and sits down on the couch that had been occupied by Sango and Miroku. "So, Sesshomaru…." The voice began but was silenced by a look from Sesshomaru. "Oh pardon me, Lord Sesshomaru sama." It began again in an apologetic manner. "Tell me about your lowly hanyou brother InuYasha."

"What can be said?" Sesshomaru sniffed. "That InuYasha is a hopeless hanyou who will never amount to anything unlike this Sesshomaru."

"Ye-es, but what about his grooming habits, his clothing? Eating habits? Sanity…I mean sanitation habits?"

"This Sesshomaru only knows that that InuYasha eats bushels of ramen, and uses a two year old toothbrush and lava soap on his hair."

"So I've heard, anything else?"

"His apartment is so horrendous that Kagome won't even go visit him and so InuYasha stays at her family's shrine."

"Thank you."

Kyan shut off the DVD player after that and looked straight at InuYasha. "So you see, we have to help you." The Hair guy said after the portable DVD player was safely stored in the black GMC Envoy.

"Keh." Replied InuYasha disdainfully. Then Carson and Jai grabbed a hold of the insubordinate hanyou and began dragging him towards the SUV. "Kagome! Help me! Where are they taking me?" Tears began forming in the corners of InuYasha's amber eyes.

"Don't worry InuYasha they're here to help you." Kagome said trying to soothe the frightened hanyou. "Honestly InuYasha you've faced Sesshomaru, Naraku, millions of other demons and jii-chan trying to purify you, yet you're afraid of a make over."

"We promise it won't hurt a bit." Carson added.

"You'll like yourself more when you're done." Tried Jai.

"Sesshomaru will be jealous of your new look." Thom promised knowing how InuYasha liked to have one up on his half brother since he watched the show religiously.

That last comment worked because InuYasha stopped crying and went willingly into the Envoy with Kagome smiling and waving at him from the sidewalk. Then Kyan started up the vehicle and Fab Five plus one hanyou with a serious fashion disaster drove off to Tokyo.

**And so ends the first chapter written by Cheebs, the next will be written by Zelda and I hope you all enjoy it. Review so that we may continue knowing that this story is loved!**


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